THE SECRET TRACK CYCLIST - THE GENERAL HEALTH CHECK

Every now and then, elite track cycling collides with the real world. This usually happens in a GP surgery.

The appointment is routine. A general health check. Nothing dramatic. You feel fine. You train full-time. You know exactly what your body can do.

The first thing they do is weigh you.

“Just hop on the scales.”

You hop on. The number appears. The GP makes a small noise. Not a gasp. More of a recalculation noise.

Then comes height.

Keys clatter. Numbers are typed. A formula is applied.

The GP leans back slightly and looks at the screen.

“Hm.”

This is never good.

“Well,” they say carefully, turning the monitor a fraction in your direction, “according to your BMI, you’re clinically obese.”

You wait for the punchline.

It does not arrive.

You glance down at your legs. Your quads are larger than most people’s waistlines. They are visible even through trousers. They have their own postcode.

You explain.

“I’m a sprinter.”

Blank look.

“Track cycling,” you add.

Polite nod.

The GP tries again. “And how often do you exercise?”

“Every day.”

“How many days a week?”

“Seven.”

This is written down slowly, as if humouring a child.

They look back at the screen. The screen does not care.

BMI is undefeated.

There is a brief examination. Blood pressure is excellent. Resting heart rate is suspiciously low. Everything else is textbook.

Still, the concern remains.

“You might want to think about reducing your calorie intake,” the GP says gently, reaching for a leaflet.

The leaflet is colourful. It contains pictures of salads.

You take it. This is easier than more conversation. They glance at your thighs again. There is a pause. Something recalculates behind the eyes.

“Well… obviously muscle weighs more than fat,” they add.

This is said like a concession.

The appointment concludes.

You are advised to eat healthily, stay active, and come back if you have concerns.

You leave with a clean bill of health, a leaflet you will never read, and the strange knowledge that in one world you are considered dangerously overweight, and in another you are under-fuelled.

Both are true. Apparently.

Because elite sport does not fit neatly into spreadsheets.

And BMI, like selection policy, does not care how fast you can ride a bike.

Secret Track Cyclist is an anonymous diary inspired by real-life experiences in elite track cycling. Each entry is written from the perspective of a different figure within the sport. Names, identities, and events are intentionally obscured to protect this week's author.